For Gwen,

i really do not appreciate her friend directing shit to me publicly when my friends been kind to her.

 yeah, all your friends had been nice to me, now.

friends whom i met through you and all.

but it's just, now.

it's not like i'd never been insulted by your friends before in the past.

of things i did, things i never did.

i believed i told you clearly in the conversation we had.

i DIDN'T KNOW u told him i was drunk.

DIDN'T KNOW u told him i was not in any wrong.

the calls i had, were just accusing & faulting.

'you kissed a guy'

'you danced with a guy in phuture'

'you CHEATED on me'

how would i know, when you had already expressed your feelings publicly for him.

and how not to assume that you talked shit about me?

you never bother clarifying anything, till i app-ed you.

you told me we both were your friends, just that he seemed like the one who needed more help.

that's not what i know, what i know was you still liked him all along.

honestly, if you know me well enough like what you used to say.

you would have known, i never liked the fact that any of my girl friends would be dating my ex or things like that.

i just wanted an explanation that time.

when you bother to clear the air, it was enough for me.

it was really enough.

and there goes, the heartbreaking tweets you wrote.

your blog.

do you honestly think that IF u meant nothing, i wouldn't be affected?

i don't have all the time to be upset over strangers in my life.

it sets us in a very complicated stage.

my own friend, in love with my ex bf, and my ex bf trying to be close to me and my friend at the same time?

or that two and a half years tweet.

to let me know all along you still have feelings for him?

or when i found out about the caps.

and your facebook status-es.

i didn't make friends with you while i THOUGHT u were dating him.

i made friends with you after i thought u moved on with other guys,

and i do not want to know whether or not the past guys u dated were my boyfriend anot, despite i think they were.

that was all.

of all the times i hanged out with Sam, why had i not ask anything about u & the past guys u dated whom i thought was him?

or even that night at phuture where my ex keeps calling you.

did i ask you anything?

is it not weird? that im hanging out with you while my ex keeps calling you,

when i didn't even know you two are still in contact?

whatever you tell me, i just believed.

when you said you treat him nice cos he's a friend and you felt he needed it.

i also believed.

THEN, I REALIZED YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH HIM AND HOW MUCH HE UPSET YOU.

HOW ALL THE CHEMISTRY YOU FELT BETWEEN THE BOTH OF YOU WERE WRONG.

and then, when I knew you asked for a chance from him.

am i the only one, who assumed that when you mean friends, it is really friends?

PERHAPS, it's not your duty / responsibility to tell me you have feelings for him.

but is it my fault for assuming that when you said friends, to me, it actually means no other feelings involved?

in very layman terms,

my friend (whom i regard close), fell for my ex bf AGAIN, and i'm the last one to know.

you want her guy, go get it with your own ability and stop hurting my friend when you got rejected. i dont understand how you able to treat her so nice and next moment you go all bitchy behind her back.

it was true. 

those emotional tweets, am i supposed to feel nothing at all?

or how fake it would be, if i initiate to ask u to cheer up?

am i wrong to feel that way?

i dunno, why you treated me nice.

was it cos i treat you nice or whatever other reasons.

i thought, you appreciated me much more than how cheng was to me.

which is why, i really did try and wanted to maintain this friendship with you despite the misunderstandings.

and then 'she's a slut'

i assumed it was referring to me cos of all those puking guy tweets & then my ex comes telling me he wanna get me back.

my friends, they just feel angry for me.

they ownself read your blog without me telling them things about you.

whatever they feel or infer, its not entirely cos whatever i told them or whatsoever.
and whether you believe it or not, I spoke very little of your stuff to them.

yeah friends. after reading the text you sent to me after i deleted you off twitter.

i just merely realized, to u, this friendship among us is sacrifice-able for love.

you are just too blinded by him.

i could have just stop all the pretending if all the emotions were fake.

you're not on my twitter anymore.

why do i even bother tweeting i actually missed talking to you.

if i have any judgmental negative things to say about you.

wouldn't i have already tweet / blog about you out of impulse already?

you taught me

'shut up, and be the cooler one'

but i cant.

how much i wish i can shut up.

i cant be as cool as you.

i assumed alot.

and up till now,

your words and actions still affect me a lot.

i understand how unhappy you will be when you read what my friend said about you.

but, you actually did assume that i hold a lot of negativity for you.

and that, you just made me feel i was just being fake to you.

where all along, i had always been the one explaining things and explaining myself to you.

but for you, it was always OKAY for me to have misunderstandings about you.

it was never mutual.