How can I love, When I'm afraid to fall

 Life has been, passable..

got good got bad.

the ups the downs.

oh wells, im still alive at the very least..

  

last week otw to work.

the taxi driver was really reckless.

there were like thrice?

other vehicles were like 3cm away from me.

and other vehicles honked the cab like 8 times?

i actually lost count cos i panicked.

saturday, i woke up feeling upset.

nothing big happen.

but it's just the hollow empty feeling i get.

girls, we are all emotional creatures.

 

beth accompanied to phuture.

together with jesslyn, lyna, sweetie & ax.

though we got separated again, and again.... haha.

i like that phuture makes me feel like home with all the familiar faces.

bouncers poking fun of you.

and knowing almost half the people on the dancefloor.

amazing.

haha.

and the little surprise from my vampire kid with soft hair <3

anyway, check out my new boyfriend below.

 

Miss Lim yo.

this crazy girl whatsapp and spam me every morning sometimes with her pictures!

when im not tired, i'll reply and fall back into my slumber.

sometimes i just let my phone buzz beside my pillow while i carry on my dreams.

but the love i feel, appreciated badly.

it's nice, to wake up and feel loved.

very very nice.

although im afraid that my greatest fear will come true.

drifting apart after she starts work.

but pretty glad those impromptu supper dates and calls everyday makes up for the absence.

i love you so much, i guess it's the quarrels and negativity that actually builds up the love we have had for each other.

i'm glad you never gave up on this friendship,

and i'm glad i never did too (:

thanks for being around, thanks for not leaving.

and im thankful, that no matter how upset or angry we're at with each other,

we never exchange malicious hurtful texts that'll harm each other.

<3

more wet dreams of me k (:

i am flawed, prolly badly flawed in others opinion.

but i am real.

i have my own insecurities, have my own emotions.

i am pampered.

but i am contented, most of the time.

contented that i'm leading a good life.

contented i don't have any financial woes.

contented my family is growing tighter as time passes by.

ironically, my broken family isn't broken.

it was broken when we were together as one.

but it doesn't feel broken now that it is broken.

if you get what i mean.

ok, and i coughed blood.

it's not pool of blood like how u see in the movies.

but spots of clots and yes.

COUGH YOU OWNED ME.

im dragging my ass to see a doc.

actually, im just used to being in a shelter.

whenever im sick mdk would be the one accompanying me to the doc's.

i didn't want to get off this comfort zone i guess.

anyway, mummy is accompanying me.

heh <3

i think i'm happier these few weeks?

i'm surrounded by hilarious people who makes me smile everyday.

you all know who you are.

thank you. :)

but the insecure me, just gets too paranoid.

afraid that this euphoria won't last.

very very afraid.